Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
