Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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