I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
