I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Say something about gay babies.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize