Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
then he tried to convert me to islam
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
