so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
