do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Randomize
