He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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