Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
