You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
