We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
