He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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