i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
