She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
