Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
he shaved USA in his pubs
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
