Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
