oh god the rape fog is back!
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
