walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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