my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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