i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize