Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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