So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
