I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize