Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
