he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
