Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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