drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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