gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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