Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I cut my penus on the lid.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
