just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize