For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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