For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
