i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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