I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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