Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
