Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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