I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
id be glad to
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
