i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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