It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
