dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
