umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
