Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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