a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We have started to decorate penises.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
