YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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