i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Randomize
