she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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