Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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