i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
