so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
