Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Randomize
