I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Randomize