i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
