i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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