just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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