I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
God, you're like boner-b-gone
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
