her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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