My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
