Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize