I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
