She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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