Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
