he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
you never un-have a 4some
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
