Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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