I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
