I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
