Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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