youre lurking in front of me
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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