yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
