In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
