You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
