I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
