Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
