It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize