Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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