i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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