i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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