Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Floor bacon is actually really good
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
